Blogging about how hard my life is, teaching in a county in a poor region of the country, seems too self-indulgent, even for me. On a blog. Being a woman in the South is hard, living in an impoverished community is hard, teaching 5th graders who can't read when I have no real teaching skills is hard. But they're only hard to me because I migrated here from a life of (what I recognize now to be) privilege. To everyone from here, it's business as usual. Doing what I do here does not motivate me to seek recognition for it. I don't want a pat on the back. Doing what I do here kind of makes me want to disappear and pretend I never saw any of it. Being here does not make me feel brave and accomplished. It makes me feel small and embarrassed of myself, and of everyone else I know.
Sometimes I honestly hope I can forget it all when I leave, and I am genuinely sorry for that.
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